degree? reuni0n!!

assalamualaikum..
hai sumer.. it has been such a while since I last  p0sted here.. midterm da lpas.. alhamdulillah twakal aje la an.. mlihat pd cbran skrg untuk aku amik medic dgan p0inter yg segan2 sip0t je.. aku decide untuk have a back up plan about my future c0urse... agak2 k0rg apa ye.....

haaaa....nmpk ta agk2 apa plihan karier aku kt stuh.. huhu.. one thing f0r sure i realy h0pe rezeki untuk aku nanti adalah dalam range minat aku.. medik memang aim aku...tapi kecuaian aku dulu wat aku trsasar jauh untuk ltakkn diri aku untuk secure medik.. and dr sekolah lagi..apart from medik.. aku nak jadi cikgu bi0logy.. kal0 pensyarah it w0uld be either ec0logy or physiology or cellular.. ta pasti lg sbb byk mnde yg mnarik dlm bi0logy ni.. s0..korg2 sumer..nti jgn tkj0t l0 ttbe anak blik sk0la cter blj0 bi0logy best o0 nan cikgu/lecturer c0mey..lalalalalalala~~ organic chem un mnarik gak sbb byk incolve mechanism...tp... nk state IUPAC name utk compound un mrangkak ag..acaner tuh nk jd lecturer lak... hahaha.. aku just harap pintu rezeki aku untuk medik blum lagi ttutup rapat so that aku dpt capai bbrpa matlamat yg aku da pgang dr sekolah..amin..pape un..aku serahkn pada Dia yg kat atas.. mane Dia letak aku stuh la rezeki aku insyaAllah..n moge dipermudahkn untuk aku mndalami and appreciate it..  

by the way.... 

i really want t0 share a bit of apa yg sllu trlintas dlm kepala aku each time aku tgok students gather nan kwn2 sumer a.k.a reunion.. xde yg len trlintas dlm kepala aku melainkan insan2 VALIANT yg da bsma nan aku 2 t0 5 years.. its funny and really sweet indeed untuk berangan cmne rupe kawan2 kita dalm range 7 hingga 15 tahun akan datang... cmne rupa kwn2 aku an.. msti ada yg da kwen.. #trmsuk aku..eh? >< camne la an rupa kawan2 aku nih ada k0t yg sib0k ngan suami/isteri lyn anak msing2..msti cute an! #okeyh anak2 buahku..don't call me makcik call me acik je..nmpk muda cket~~ hahahah... antara target2 aku...

~aunty trah ^^~

~uncle wan ^^~

~haa...uncle jie! ^^~

~aunty mun n aunty qis! ^^~

~uncle efun ><~

~aunty2 2 anat0mi? ^^~~

~aunty weida!~

hahahah... sekadar gurauan ae caption bwh gmbr uh.. tp ni antara target2 utama aku la especially efun..muahahahaha..#s0ri yek efun~ byk lg tp ta trdaya da nk mncri gmb02 target2 aku nih.. huhuhu...
 but..
 one thing f0r sure.. i really hope that.. even if time flies.. kami2 rakyat VALIANT would always be VALIANT and remains with the mem0ries.. kita tggu okay dalam temp0h sp0loh thun ag... reuni0n cne jdnyer.. agk2..ada ta yg dtg nan insan VALIANT sndiri as life partners utk reuni0n uh nti... lalalalala~~ gur0 je.. l0 ad..apa slhnyer...nek pentas ok! ^^ 

hahaha.. thats all la from me this time..truly missing you guys right n0w.. h0pe korg2 sume sntiasa sihat n bhgia ok! assalamualaikum..




#kepada kawan Valiant aku yg insyaAllah bakal melangsungkn pertunangan dlm masa trdekat nih.. sem0ga niat murni kalian berdua dberkati and dilancarkan sehingga ikatan sah.. amin.. setia hujung nyawa~~

Unrequited l0ve?

assalamualaikum..
hai kamu2 sekalian.. apa habaqq??? moge sihat la selalu yer... ^^
apa yg aku wat sekarang...other than menyelak buku2 kertas2 for midsem exam.. keje aku ta len ta
 bukan------>
hahaha... nak wat cne... seminggu tanpa lecture self study... duit un cm air je mngalir... bsme teman setia,nescafeku... hoh0... aku menyelak note2 lecture yg nyata wat aku ternganga btambah2 cuak nak exam.. almaklum la pointer sem lepas hanc0ss..lg dupdapdupdap aku nk exam..

by the way.. t0pik aku ari ni.... about unrequited l0ve...hahahahaha.. gler menyentap je an t0pik dye... haha... aku un xde mnde ngat un nk brbicara soal ini bukan la ta pnah mnghadapinye tapi.....
 uhuk2..okeh kita berlari semula kpada topik kta... lalalalala~~

apa yg korang tau tentang unrequited love ni.. or mungkin ada di antara kita pernah mengalaminya? haha...jgn malu jgn segan beserla tuh...kita serupa~~~ haha..  basically aku baru pas neng0k cter2 kartun yang agak2 brhabuk trsimpan dlm file laptop aku sambil mengulangkaji fizik..aicehh...
 kartun + fizik=
cter yang aku tengok tuh..other than menceritakan tentang friendship..terselit dalam cter tuh bukan skit tp banyak tentang perihal unrequited love nih..aku un ta tau nape tajuk  nih yang bermain dalam fikiran aku sekarang other than DC circuit,kirchoff rule,wheat stone bridge,ohmmeter ..  adakah krna complicatednyer tajuk uh same ngan semua yg aku nga study skang?..haha... gler jap aku dibuatnyer..

unrequited love..or cinta yg ta brbalas... ramai yang takut untuk menghadapi kejdiaan misteri seperti ini apatah lagi bila terjadi sedemikian anda akan terasa seperti digelek steam roll at0 diletak dalam freeze seakan beku minda jiwa dan seluruh anggota badan untuk melangkah..

well...it is true somehow unrequited love is such a pain that struck to your heart when you are turned down by someone you have a crush on.. hakikatnye menda tuh memang menyakitkan bila kita hanya mampu menepuk angin instead of org yg kita syg membalasnyer.. bila menhadapai situasi sebegini.. kita akan terasa malu.. terasa down..sampai kita rasa cm..."aku ta sanggup nak jumpa dye lagi...trse macam dipanah petir ditusuk sembilu hati ni..." #woh0o nampak ta berbunganyer ayat kat stuh cikgu sastera un leh t0uching... 

sampai satu tahap bila kte jmpa dye kita trsa some kind of an awkward feeling meeting him/her trying to act like before... lagi-lagi klo org yg kita crush tu kawan kita.. sampai satu tahap...kita terasa nak lari dri dye....xnak contact dye lagi.. at least for this moment untuk menenangkan hati kita untuk menerima keputusan dye...to pull ourselves back and cuba perbaiki keadaan semula jadi mcm dulu.. well..tak semua orang mampu take those rejection as simply as they could.. its a tough thing to do.. and kadang-kadang after those thing happen,a distance has been created among those two person...somehow..kadang-kadang distance tuh akhirnya melangkau breaking point of the friendship they have been holding for such a long time.. itu lagi parah.. tapi tu la hakikat..sekuat mana un hati kadang-kadang dengan perkara cam ni un hati tuh leh tingtong.. those reminds me of one of my friends back in elementary school.. he took a year to pull himself together untuk bercakap and berkawan balik ngan girl yang dye suka tuh after she turned him down.. see... when it involves the heart..those feelings... kadang-kadang bertahun nak ambik masa untuk recover..

but then... satu menda yang kita kena ambik into consideration.. the other party's feeling.. when you are bold enough to confess to her or him.. you have to be bold enough to accept her or his answer no matter you like it or not..no mater how the answer would crush your heart into pieces.. janganla...bila dye tolak... kta rasa cam.."how could she...ta hargai perasaan aku..ta nampak ke keikhlasan aku..apa kurangnya aku..." #cewahh..sekali lagi berbunga~

the thing is.. bila kita cuba pikir sebab knpa dye tolak kita..pernah tak kita cuba pikir sekuat mana sekuat mana hati dye untuk mengatakan tidak tuh kat kita...lagi-lagi kalo da lama kawan.. pernah tak kita pikir...sekuat mana hati dye untuk melukakan hati kawan dye dengan perkataan "tidak" tuh..sedalam mana dye fikir possibilities yang akan berlaku  kalo dye trima and kalo dye tolak..apa yang akan jadi dengan friendship dyorang pasni.. consider their feeling to0.. kadang2... bila someone tu menolak.. apart from ta sedia... dye lagi memikirkan persahabatan yang da lama terjalin antara dye ngan kita.. friendship is more precious than love itself.. kadang2.. kita ta sedar..bila dye mnolak... apa yang kita dengar,yang kita nampak itulah yang kita terima bulat2.."aku tak boleh terima ko...".sedangkan kita terlepas pandang luka kat hati dye yang terhasil..bila dye terpaksa lukakan hati kawan dye sendiri..

it's okay for you to take some time to be apart from her or him..untuk menerima kenyataan tuh.. tapi.. kadang-kadang..bila terlalu lama or its too sudden when you pull yourself away from him/her.. it would cause such deep pain struck in their heart to0.. making them to think that ko menolak dye jauh dr hidup ko.. membuatkan dye rse...friendship tu da ta sekukuh dulu... and...making them to feel like all the things that happened were their mistakes..
and believe me..when this situation lasts..it would cause a worse consequences..bila jadi camtu..it will be too late for you to realize.. ko bukan takat hilang orang yang ko sayang...even worse..ko hilang kawan ko yang selama ni bergelak ketawa kongsi suka duka dengan ko.. by that time..sedarlah ko sebenarna apa yg ko rasa dalam hati ko terhadap dye..itu bukanla the true love you have on her..but its just the selfishness of your love untuk diri ko semata-mata..not for both you and the one you love..

being rejected is sure a painful thing for us to accept.. somehow..like i said before.. bila ko berani untuk meluahkan perasaan kat seseorang ko kena berani and matured enough untuk terima apa jua jawapan dye walaupun menda tu menyakitkan..tu adat.. even dalam game un ko ta selalu menang..ada masa nye jugak ko kalah..yet dengan kekalahan yang ko terima..ko akan jadi lagi kuat and lagi tabah untuk menghadapi game2 yang akan datang..and tebus semula kekalahan tu... tak semestinye bila ditolak ko da xde harapan dengan dye.. doa... jodoh ni ta sape yang tau.. jauh camne un dye prgi kal0 dye memang jdoh kita dye akan datang balik.. bila ditoak its okay untuk menjauhkan diri untuk mendpatkan better environment untuk menjalani hidup korang cam biasa.. tapi doing those thing as a man... nak nagis un xpe..tapi make sure the next day ko bangun and live up your day sptimana diri ko yang sebenar yang penuh dengan positive charges... #aku un da ta tau cne nk gmbarkan tp cmtu la... _ _!! jangan drag those hard feeling into your upcoming life..yet take it as a challenge for yourself..itu la kehidupan sebenarnya... such feelings are like the acrylics that col0ur your canvas of life making such wondefrul bittersweet art of yours..

and then...the end of my c0ret2 for today.. aku mintak maaf kal ada yang terasa...mungkin opinion aku lain dengan yang ko rasa.. mungkin orang akn kata ak cruel ta menyelami peritnye hati bila ditolak..aku mintak maaf kalo itu yang terlintas..iye..mungkin...aku ta pernah rasa..tapi..aku pnah rasa terluka nya hati bila sedar..penolakan tuh sebenarnya melukakan hati kawan kita yang kit sayang selama ni...n mcm mna rasenye..bila khilangan kawan yang kita sayang sebab mnde yang cmni..
so.... my friends... forgive me kalo post ada menyentap hati,jiwa,paru-paru,pankreas ke.. maafkan saya~~

ingatan untuk kita bersama and selingan tentang coretan hidup kita bersama.. take care to all of you.. best of luck..doakan aku and kawan2 yg len exam ye minggu depan.. hoh0...
assalamualaikum...

#t0 my dearest abah..selamat hari lahir.. semoga abah sentiasa berada dalam lindungan,keampunan,rahamat dan redha Allah.. maafkan kakak atas semua salah silap kakak and mceh untuk semua pengorbanan and kesabaran abah melayan kerenah anak dara abah yang notty ni.... chupppppp! sayang abah.. ^^

~~amacam..sme ta? haha~~

~~he l0ves me~he l0ves me n0t~~~

assalamualaikum..

hai kawan2~~
kter ada satu teka teki.. dalam banyak2 luka,luka apa yg ta nampak? tettt! mase da tamat... jawapannyer...luka dalam hati.. hahaha..
 okeh abaikan yg ngar0t uh.. so.. it has been a while since i last updated this blog.. sibuk cket..cewahh...hahah..sibuk la sgt...#sbuk exercise mulut tmbh natural heat insulator pd bdn lettew~~

today... let us share something ah... its about something that is really complicated even the Hitler can't handle it... hahahahah...cuak ta cuak ta??? haha.... xde mnde un sje je wt suspen... actualy ari ni ak nk share about a lyric of a song yg aku dengar dua tiga hari lpas... lirik nih yg english-subbed pnyer sbb lgu uh lgu korea... #pergh tqah lyn k0rea n jp0n do0 skang~~

okeyh..lgu uh lirik dye bbunyi sedemikian...

Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any different
I valued you at first but then I flew away
Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any special
I had all of your heart but then I flew away
Men are all like that

It seemed like I could never catch your heart
But little by little, your heart became to come into my hands
Now I feel burdened when you say you can’t live without me

I used to stay up all night, worried that your heart would change
When I opened my eyes, I called you to make sure of your voice
I used to hope that the moment would last forever

Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any different
I valued you at first but then I flew away
Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any special
I had all of your heart but then I flew away
Men are all like that

I used to just look at you for minutes
I held your hand tight, afraid that I might lose you if I let go
I used to be sad when we said goodbye so I turned back multiple times

Now I walk ahead of you
When we talk, I don’t look at your eyes
But it’s not because I don’t love you

Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any different
I valued you at first but then I flew away
Men are all like that, I wouldn’t be any special
I had all of your heart but then I flew away
Men are all like that

Women are all like that, you wouldn’t be any different
You knew my heart but you hoped that I’d return
Women are all like that, you wouldn’t be any special
You knew it wasn’t but hoped that I would be your last
Women are all like that

apa yg korg paham dr lirik lagu nih.. hahaha... aku un ta la paham sangat... tapi..once aku tgok mv dye~~

~~mv lgu~~

once aku baca lirik dye... lgu ni touched hati n fikiran aku untuk berfikir sejenak.. cewah~~

perasan ta korg lagu ni mnunjukkan yang kita women n men are created fair and square.. sme je sbnanye dari segi hati la dlm konteks cter aku skang nih... at first aku agk suprised to listen to this song sbb yg nyanyinye laki.. but then when i listen to this song completely,aku realize... lagu ni sbnanye mnceritakan tentang dua-dua pihak;both boys and girls.. even if the lyrics said men are all the same,bgtu mnghrgai at first smpai tak0t nak let go of her hand,afraid of losing her..#psst..jgn hold hands lg ea bef0re akad~~ ^^
but then it turns out,this man starts to flew away with his life,putting her aside... and at the end of the song,it is said that,women are all the same.. trying to ignore the fact yg mgkin...kte ta dprlukn... ttp mghrpkn org yg da mlgkh prgi dr hdup kta utk kmbli.n mnjd org yg trakhir yg kita akn syg...

 fuhhh...complicated tol erk ble involve sal hati ni....


first and foremost..no offense ye to any boys or girls about this post.. aku un ta la phm sgt lirik lagu nih and my summary might be the other way from your own summaries..
its just.. maybe it is true in certain extent.. aku un kkdg trse cm tuh.. but then.. for me... ignore the word men/women and you will find the rational about this song,about us,the human... ada je pmpuan yg cm konteks 'men' dlm lgu nih sme gak ngan lki..ad je yg stianya mngharapkan org yg dye syg return back for him.. thats why i say that we are all the same.. hidup nih..pnuh ragam.. yang pmpuan cmni.. yg lki cmtu... org ni cmni..org tu cmtu...

just..dont blame any of you either boy or girl if the things that you're hoping are not going as you want.. and don't blame yourself...smpi ko ase down, nk tg0lek, nk trjun bngunan,update at blog ke ap ke "ak xnk kwen ah! skit ati!"...#amboih2..xnk kwen ye.... psti ke xnk kwen..tup2 kad kwen ko yg aku tme dlu~~

mlpaskan org yg kta syg tu mmg mnyakitkan...  tp..itu bknla pngakhiran hdup kta..smpai kta hilg ptmbangan nk wt mnde bukan2..smpai diri kta yg rosak.. ble dye prgi dr kita... bkan bmkna kita ta lyk mmliki dye.. tp Dia yg kat ats uh..tgh sdiakn kta utk someone yg lbih baik yg slyknye utk kta..
 ustaz aku pnah ckp...
" manusia nih boleh berubah 48 kli dlm msa 24 jam.."

be prepared aje la... ta byk skit un jd la...bckp ttg hti.. aku un ta tau aku prepare ke ta.. ta tau aku kuat at0 ta untuk hdpi smua kmungkinan... ta tau either aku yg prgi or dye...

but then... either you like it or not.. terima dengan redha kalau dye bukan jodoh kta... bkan kta yg tetapkan jdoh kita... yg kt ats yg tetapkn... kdg2 dok bagai nk gh0k bcinta tjuh lpan sp0loh thun...last2 kwen ngan owg len...knal 2 bulan je tr0s nikah... kn...da kab0...haaaaa~~~
nk kb0 mnde.. gi jmpe s0mi dye kb0 "ni awek aku nih mne aci..aku nk kwen ngan dye..." emg ni la mkn dyer...

hidup ta smstinye mngikut ap yg kta nk..ad mnde yg kta leh ubh.. ad yg ta boleh wal0 puas cne un kta cuba utk ubh.. doa jln trbaik..doakn aje la mge2 org yg trselit dlm hti kta skrg itulh jdoh kta...

BUT THEN...
lg lg lg lg lg lg lg lg baik lo xyh trjebak lgsung ngan ap yg ta psti ag nih... cinta Dia yg kat ats yg lg utama un kta sllu tlupa.. ingtan untuk hambaNya ini sndri yg slu sgt khilaf n lalai dlm mencintaiNya.. #ampunkn aku Ya Allah~~
yg da trjebak uh...#tmsukla yg mnulis nih...  be bold enough to ask for her hand through her wali just as bold as you have her placed in your heart.. itu la cinta yg lbih sweet.. klh r0meo n juliet a0~~



udah ler tuh mnaipnyer yek... tggu la mse nye nti ak update lg... post ni... yg baik amik la..yg bruk tuh... saye mnyusun sepuluh jari dengan hela nafas yang berat bersama ketulusan hati dan kerendahan diri memohon kemaafan kepada anda semua yg membacanya.. again i repeat... no offense to anyone...
 take care semua.. by the way,doakn kami rakyat2 pasUm untuk midsem exam kami yer... cuak3~~

nenek saye pnah brkata....

"kal0 kter sygkan sseorg uh kte kne lpaskan dye prgi dr kta... kal0 dye dtg blik ke kter mknenye dye mmg utk kter.. kal0 ta... ada yg lain yg lg baik mnunggu kter..."

hahaha..okay sumer? assalamualaikum!













#pssst.... cinta lpas nikah itu pling sweet~~

GOKUSEN!

"ble ak tgok cter cinta..ak trse sdih..mcm..trse berat dlm hti.."

"sedih? berat dlm hati? knpe? kl0 cter tu wat ko sdih biasa la.. jln cte dye mmg cmtu.."

"such a bulls**t they're making such l0ve story that w0n't even happen in real life.."

"mcm mne jln ctenye?"

"x ksahla cne un"

"hmm..ok..jd ap yg buat ko sdih?"

"ak ta tau..all i want to do.. is just cry..ak ta tau..."

"jgn la mnangis x brsbb..fkir balik knpe ko mngis sbnanye..because of love or else..mngis nie sbb kita sdih tu of course la..kdg2 stress pon boleh buat kta mngis.."

"don't you dare tell her about this or y0u'll never see my face anym0re.."

"knpe? bukn ke dye yg sllu ad ngan ko n lbih tahu condition ko dr ak.."

"ko brni wat ak xnk ngaku ko kwn ak! it has nothing to d0 with her.. n ak ta ske owg tau ak wt keje bodo ngis gnih..ak ta ske owg pndg ak lmah.. ingt pesn ak ni.. don't ever tell tell anyone or ko akn hilg kwn ko tol2.."

"Baik! ak jnji.."

"S**t i c0uldn't stop this tears.."

"knpe nie? ak x fham la.xkan ko x tau sbb ap ko ngis nie..ad kne mngena ngan spe2 ke..

ak stress je..mceh..ak nk reht..take care..syg ko..salam.."

"sme2..ko pk byk sgt nie.. jgn pk klau mnde tu ta prlu k..jgn smpi ko skit plak nnti..jge diri jge ksihatan k..ad pape cte..ak dgar.. wsalam.."

this conversation was between me n my d..
childish an prgai ak....selfish an prgai ak..hilg smua manners yg sptutnye ad...
sorry about that..
its just..
the fact that when you have so much things you've bottled up such a long time ago.... so much things came across your heart,your mind..until the time comes  when you c0uldn't bear the pain,the stress..you can't even think as wise as you used to try in each of your actions..
feeling like you want to give up on everything you've tried to help on,to settle..feeling like you're totally exhausted,like you're going to collapse.. by that time tears rolled down your cheek like hell.. even though you've tried as much as you could to stop the  tears.. xnk spe2 tau..air mata tu mnglir dr mata ko...mlu org tgok ko ngis..tkut org tgok ko lmah..tkut org pndg ko lembik..tkut org pndg ko cm budk2... xnk org kesian kt ko...
tu la pgangan ak.. trying my hard to hold my tears for each of my despair n problems slgi ak mmpu... but.. until the night...the night i had this conversation..until these 2days ak hbiskan cter GOKUSEN 1,2,3,m0vie,special.. #Sawada Shin is mine~~,byk mnde yg wat ak trsdar dr cte tu..dr conversation ak..byk yg ak try recall blik... ak tringat ayt dlm cter tu..

cry as much as you want..when you can't hold all the feelings,all the things you've bottled up.. let the tears out.. it will make you much better... just cry as much as you want... so that when you wake up on the next morning with a smile..n strive for what you've dream for..

its true..it is really true... i was wrong for this whole time.. crying doesn't make you weak,making you look like a bunch of little kids..instead,it makes you become more stronger n matured.. letting out the tears doesn't mean you are weak..but those tears shows that you have tried as hard as you could to face the problems.. until then you become a bit tired..and those tears are the tears of you gaining your strength back to go through the problems n looking forward of your future n your life.. jgn mlu utk nangis.. jgn malu utk kluarkn air mata tu pd masa yg sptutnya ko kluarkn.. x ksah la ko lki ke pmpuan.. it doesn't make any different at all..kta ttap manusia biasa.. tp kne pgg stu prkara....once you let out the tears..promise to yourself to get up n start making your brave steps to achieve your goals,your dreams,your aim..
fight-oh....oh! ^^

#thanks to my d...yg tpksa mndgar curse words dr ak tgh2 mlm... i really appreciate it.. ^^

 ~g0kusen 1~

 ~sawada shin~

~lagi~

 ~lagi~

~lalalalala..~

#okeh nmpk x kegilaannyer kt situ.. can't be helped.. ksr2 un, i'm still a girl y0u know...lalalala~~